Using humor to break the cycle of yelling

“I poured water on my son’s head yesterday!”, one of my clients confided to me. She took her son’s phone away because he wasn’t being respectful when she wanted him to care about the chores she had asked him to do numerous times! 

Her son wanted to argue about it, but my client didn’t take the argument bait. Their old pattern would be to argue back and forth, without any solution. So this time, instead, she shifted the pattern by using humor. She got his attention by pouring water on him!

Of course then the guilt came right away - she was worried that she traumatized him “forever”  - but later as she reflected on the moment, it was enough of a pattern interruption that got him to take care of the chores she had asked of him and he also thought it was funny.  That powerful moment brought feelings of joy. He will remember that moment forever, tell his friends, his children and maybe even use this tactic on his kids .

The humor relieved the guilt and her beliefs that she traumatized him because she had reacted by pouring water on his head. 

This is one of many tools that brings success in parenting - breaking the cycle of yelling - and quickly to experience the immediate gratification of connection with her son.

If you’d like to try something new like this because your kids aren’t listening when you’re yelling, work with me.